Male, age 25 - 45
Aristocratic and forthright, Clive is as fluent in biting sarcasm as he is in his Oxbridge accent. Evidently the by-product of an over-privileged upbringing and sterling education, he is now reduced to skulking about an absurdist landscape with an inelegant pauper in tow. Clive possesses all the qualities of a great leader of old: selfishness, arrogance, and scorn. He regards his companion for the long journey through metaphysical dimensions as something akin to a minstrel, though without the requisite musical talent. He simply enjoys having a receptacle for the sound of his own voice. A self-fashioned intellectual, he is genuinely curious about his surroundings and highly entertained by the antics of strangers.
[NOM ICI] (Principal)
Female, age 20 - 30.
Presenting a non-binary, fluid gender [NOM] still betrays traces of a French-Canadian accent, a remnant from her working class upbringing. With a voracious appetite for pheasant and cookies, her keen wit and lateral thinking skills act as a foil to her companion Clive’s snide sarcasm and lofty pretensions. [NOM] possesses a certain joie-de-vivre and levity that fuels her playful and sincere curiosity. She always seems content exploring her current surroundings, engaging with the inhabitants thereof with a certain down-to-earth geniality.
Male, age 40-50 (open to younger actors if they can pull it off)
Dirt is a crazed hermit who inhabits a bizarre forest-world. Sweet, naïve, but deranged, he lives in abject terror of a mysterious force likely connected to his sordid past. He often attempts to disguise himself as various fixtures of his surrounding forestscape to escape whatever it is he believes is chasing him, most notably dirt (hence his name). Respondents should be physically vigorous and willing to get down and dirty, literally and figuratively.
Female, age 30 - 50.
Strong willed and quick on her feet, Lucy is an infernal realtor with a saccharine smile who rules her meta-physical domain with an iron fist. Lucy lures unsuspecting visitors into an eternity of servitude as vacant-eyed Looky-Loo’s in her interdimensional open house. Her fiery passion and unwavering commitment to order and cleanliness make her a formidable foe when the stability of her personal universe is put at risk by the bumbling interference of two unsuspecting interlopers.
Female, age 25-55
June is a humble and caring bag lady, living on the streets of a dimension of endless labyrinthine alleyways. She cares very much for her animal companion, the enigmatic Belinda, and spends much of her time building nests and preparing for Belinda’s visits. June speaks solely in bewildering aphorisms, delivered in the manner of age-old idioms. Regardless, she is affable and friendly to passers-by, if a bit unapproachably eccentric.